We had our holiday at home this year
Dad bought two tons of sand
And dumped it in the garden
He hired a huge spotlight
And tied it to the guttering
So it looked like the sun was blazing down
Like in Spain
Then we put on our cossies
And sat in deck chairs
Listening to a tape of ocean waves
It was dead realistic
Dad painted a washing-up powder box
With pound signs
And stuck a handle on it.
Then we kept pushing our money through the slot
Until it had all gone.
Dad said the ice-creams were a fiver
And mum said we couldn’t afford it.
It was dead realistic.
We paddled in a tin bath
Full of dirty water.
We played beach tennis
And had the beach to ourselves.
I cut my foot on a piece of glass
And had to go to hospital
For a jab.
We pretended we couldn’t speak the language.
It was dead realistic.
Next year dad says
We might have an Italian holiday
In Mrs Pasolini’s garden.
She lives next door.
(from The Monster That Ate the Universe)
3 comments:
I enjoyed this one alot - appeals to my weird sense of humour. it reminds me of that lovely Ivor Cutler track (one of many) Life In A Scotch Sitting Room Vol. 3 part 45 where they try and build sand castles out of three grains of sand and hold a shell to their ear to hear the sea and paddle in the sink etc.
I think they spit in each others faces to replicate the salt spray on the promonade!
Hmmm.. I'm a fan of Ivor's too. We did an interview with him once for Real Shocks.
My poem was for children...
Simply lovely. For children? Nah...for everyone.
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