Saturday, February 10, 2007

The Things a Dog Has to Do

Clean the kitchen floor lest tiny scraps of food should spoil the appearance of the tiles
Listen to the wind to mark a change in the weather
Watch carefully the cat, lest her nerve breaks and she makes a dash for the window
Guard the window lest the poodle over the road uses insulting barking
Remind potential burglars that she would make a fearsome adversary
Check, by sniffing, that other dogs have clean bottoms
Check, by sniffing, the four corners of the house for intruders
Checking, also by sniffing, the four corners of the garden for the same
Seek the remnants of dead hedgehogs or other small animals and mark by rolling in them
Watch the toy bone lest it move of its own accord
Remind her owner, by subtle means, that it is time for a walk
Remind her owner by less-subtle means that it is time to eat
Bark loudly for no reason - just for the sheer hell of it and to keep owner on toes
Puzzle over unusual configurations of clouds
Guard the front door lest the postman breaks in to steal a letter
Wonder why the strange man who gave her the tasty bone is coming in through the window and not the door