Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Worst Christmas


The worst Christmas
Was when Mum was in hospital
And Dad, bless him,
Made a right pig’s ear
Of the Christmas turkey.

On Christmas Eve he dressed up as Santa
Red coat, big bushy beard -
And Mum dressed up as a reindeer
Big antlers, red nose -

And it was all going so well
I was pretending to be asleep
As Dad crept in, when
Shriek!
Clatter clatter clatter
Thump!
Mum fell off the roof.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

All We Do at Christmas

All we do at Christmas
Is sit and watch TV
Mum and Dad and Sis and Gran
And Grandpapa and me

My best mate Bill, and all his lot
Play Christmas games and cards
Have quizzes and win prizes
Dress up and play charades

And Jenny’s family go to church
They’re Christians and they believe
She stays up late and goes to church
At midnight, Christmas Eve

And Jason, who’s a Muslim
And Margie, who’s a Jew
Still think about what Christmas means
But take a wider view

But we don’t do much thinking
We just sit and watch TV
There’s Mum and Dad and Sis and Gran
And Grandpapa and me

Monday, December 13, 2010

Seven Stars

Seven stars are shining
As the sun falls from the sky
Six rooks dance their goodnight dance
And wish the day goodbye

Five bats skim the castle walls
Waiting for the bell
For soon the moon will break the news
It’s waited long to tell

Four owls leave the tower tall
Hungry to spread the word
To wit, to woo a mouse or two
In case you haven’t heard

Three horses in the courtyard
Beneath the flickering light
Two men exchange quiet glances
And ride into the night

And deep within the castle
In the centre of the keep
One maiden lies alone, alone
And tries to get to sleep

Monday, December 06, 2010

No Star Hotel

Never stay at the Heartbreak Hotel
Try the Travel Inn on the corner
If you stay at the Inn of Loneliness
Both the staff and the guests will ignore yah
For a weekend break that’s a bad mistake
Don’t say I didn’t warn yah
You’ll be so lonely you will cry

Likewise the Hotel California