Giving

Ed gave me his birthday badge
I gave Ed my moon rock
Ed gave me his juicy peach
I gave Ed my sock

Ed gave me his hamsters
Jimmy, Digs and Jack
Mum found them in my bedroom
And I had to give them back

Mum made Ed give my sock back
So I returned his peach
And Ed returned my moon rock
(I’d found it on the beach)

I returned Ed’s birthday badge
And Mum said, Good. That’s that.
She went downstairs to the kitchen
And I gave Ed our cat

Credit Crunch

Once
She melted his heart
Now
She freezes his assets

Not Billy Collins

It is a tea pot
Not a saucepan on the gas ring
Bubbling and filling the kitchen
With a comforting steam

It is not the door
Waiting for the cook's entrance
And through which
Can be faintly heard
Chris Barber’s Cat Call

Nor is it the window
Where the sun and the moon
May be observed
Taking it in turns
To archly cross the sky

Nor is it the telescope
That stands in the hall
Its barrel dusty
And marked with the prints
Of children’s fingers
Like putty moons

Nor is it the garden path
Awaiting the careful tread
Of the poet Billy Collins

No, it is not Billy Collins
It is a tea pot

Snake Propulsion

My mind
Is catapulted
From the ancient pool
To the waiting waterfall
By the stripy elasticated belt
With the snake buckle

Present

Remember
When Mickey, our mouse,
Brought us a little
Present
And left it on the doorstep?

A dead cat

The Perk of Being Mrs Wickins’ Cat

There’s milk and strokes
and somewhere warm
to sleep and scratch and think,
but the perk of being
Mrs Wickins’ cat
is the spider in the sink

The spider’s looking scary
and kicking up a stink.
Fetch Mrs Wickens. She’ll soon catch
the spider in the sink

Yes, I’m great at catching spiders,
my claw is lightning fast
I eat the legs one at a time
and save the head for last

There’s milk and strokes
and somewhere warm
to sleep and scratch and think,
but the perk of being
Mrs Wickins’ cat
is the spider in the sink

Corrections

Teacher said,
Leave out the the,
two too's one too too many
and and after the comma
should go after the any.

The the, the too -
and move the and
and that should make it flow.
Not that that, that that's fine -
but this that, that could go.

I said,
The the, the too, the and -
I would agree with you.
But I'm very fond of that -
this that and that that too.

Which that is that?
Is that this that?
Asked teacher with a grin.
Okay - but take that last in out
And leave that last out in.