Danny Chaucer (3)

The Very Worst News

Bad News
Like a seaside hotel with no sea views
Bad News
Like a crossword with no clues
Bad News
Pants too loose and too tight shoes
Bad News
When you never win and always lose
Really -
B-a-d N-e-w-s

Tommy rang to say
He’d had everything he wanted for Christmas
And what was that? I asked cheerily,
Not anticipating the kick in the shins
The sledgehammer blow to the head
The punch in the solar plexus
The meteorite about to obliterate the Earth
He said,
For Christmas I had
Jenny