Thursday, March 31, 2005

Fear of Lifts

Am I more scared than you?
Not scared, perhaps, just very nervous,
As they trundle you into the lift.

The nurse asked you
A hundred questions
About allergies
When you last ate and drank
Did you have any loose teeth
But she didn’t ask
About your claustrophobic
Fear of lifts.

You smiled
As they wheeled you away
Reassuring me
A small and routine operation
Half an hour
And you’ll be back
Dozy, no doubt, and smiling

Having braved the lift

Only twenty five more minutes
To wait then.
How these absences
Remind me of our love.

And when you return
With your smile
The weights that hang
Along the edges of my self
Are lifted

But then surgeon says
I’m afraid it’s a little more complicated
Than first we thought


Roger Stevens said...

Blog wouldn't let me post this. So this comment is actually out of date. I wrote it to post with the poem on Tuesday.

Jill hasn’t had a very good day today. Yesterday she lost her glasses on an Easter Monday walk. Today she was working in London. First off – her computer went wrong. Then I took her to the station where we discovered she’d left something behind. So we came home again. Then back to the station. Meanwhile she’d made an appointment in London for new glasses. First they kept her waiting, not realising she’d made an appointment. Then they told her she couldn’t have the glasses she wanted because they’d not be ready in time. Then there was a mistake on the ones she did order. Hopefully it’s now sorted.

The poem is from some poems I wrote when Jill was in hospital to have a cyst removed a few years ago. It’s these times when you realise just how much someone can mean to you. And how fragile life can be. There were complications – but it turned out okay in the end.

Interestingly – Jill’s claustrophobia is much better.

Russell Ragsdale said...

Beautiful poem; took me there! Was the change in claustraphobia a reaction to the medical phobia to understating reality. We can never quite figure how to deal with them when they have their own troubled reactions. God help us all, said tiny Russell, each and every one! Can I put a link to you?

Jonathan said...

By all means get the right glasses...
as one that has to "look" for all his daily work, I realise the importance...

transience said...

i appreciate how real the snapshots this poem inspired.

Cocaine Jesus said...

the final three lines are chilling. words that i, and many others, are familiar with.

"its more complicated than first we thought"

sad to say but we need moments like these to remind us how very much we love someone.

wonderful poem.

Ostrich said...

So True, We really have these shake up moments and you realise, there's no sustainable way i can express love constantly to someone, but the fact that the thought is there counts fo a whole lot. And telling them once in a while and feeling it most of the time is the best we can do. Cheers Roger.

Roger Stevens said...

Some good news, folks.

We retraced Jill's steps on the walk and found her glasses in a field along the edge of the woods.

But now, of course, it means she's paid for a pair she doesn't need.

Thanks for the comments so far...

the wheel said...

Hey, nothing wrong with having an extra pair of spectacles, especially if the frames look different.

Lovely poem. Glad to hear everything worked out okay.

jadedprimadonna said...

Never hurts to have an extra pair of glasses. I've been trying to post on others' blogs AND my own blog, with not much luck. Hopefully this will arrive. I'm glad it all turned out okay. Very nice poem.

michael said...

I like the poem too.
Just back from town. I didnt find much just a Topper annual for Archie but I think he may already have it. Its a bit battered so can use it for collage maybe.
Hazel and Archie have gone to manchester for the day. She's meeting someone about a joint exhibition they are planning in the college in September. Archie wants to buy some more books. He's read all the Spiderwicks which is amazing really since he found it very hard to concentrate on novels but these seem just the right lenght and text is broken up by lots of nice illustrations in an Arthur Rackham style.

Amie said...

I thought for a minute someone in your family is sick now until I read the comment section. Good thing it was all in the past now and that your wife is A okay now! Phobia… isn’t it interesting the basically all people has a phobia of something? Just a thought I myself am afraid of deep water.