Saturday, February 10, 2007

The Things a Dog Has to Do

Clean the kitchen floor lest tiny scraps of food should spoil the appearance of the tiles
Listen to the wind to mark a change in the weather
Watch carefully the cat, lest her nerve breaks and she makes a dash for the window
Guard the window lest the poodle over the road uses insulting barking
Remind potential burglars that she would make a fearsome adversary
Check, by sniffing, that other dogs have clean bottoms
Check, by sniffing, the four corners of the house for intruders
Checking, also by sniffing, the four corners of the garden for the same
Seek the remnants of dead hedgehogs or other small animals and mark by rolling in them
Watch the toy bone lest it move of its own accord
Remind her owner, by subtle means, that it is time for a walk
Remind her owner by less-subtle means that it is time to eat
Bark loudly for no reason - just for the sheer hell of it and to keep owner on toes
Puzzle over unusual configurations of clouds
Guard the front door lest the postman breaks in to steal a letter
Wonder why the strange man who gave her the tasty bone is coming in through the window and not the door

7 comments:

Roger Stevens said...

Heartened by your kind comments on my last blog - here's another poem from Why Otters Don't Wear Socks.

Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Ah so this is the poem all mummy dogs read to their puppies, I could add, bark at me so I know I'm home and make beautifully muddy art work of kitchen floor because it was just so boring before. Love it particularly the 'insulting barking!'

Ricercar said...

ha ha - i loved this!
and also carefully and methodically study potential ground along evening walk selecting best spot to relieve self

Liam Wilkinson said...

Wonderful poem. Love it.

I walk for an hour every morning, heading for work, and pass all sorts of dogs along the way. We have a secret communication system, dogs and me. I smile at them, and they look bewildered. It's so much fun.

michael said...

Dogs are like people in many respects.
I once said "Hello " to a dog and it barked furiously at me!
I am more wary now and only say hello if I am introduced.

Cocaine Jesus said...

i only bark when i am barked to.

rrroWOOF

wastedpapiers said...

I read this out loud today for the first time.

Hazel said- "Should we go and visit this man?"

He sounds Barking!

I laughed and continued to tinkle the type with my tiny twitchy fingers.