Monday, December 07, 2015

The Naming of Stones in California

Amethyst for wisdom
Obsidian for protection from unknown spirits
Rose quartz for protection from blushing
Wear a tiger stone and
you will never be caught unawares by a tiger
Likewise Lapis will protect you from rabbits
Serpentine will protect you from unusual duck behaviour
(not, as many believe, from snakebite)
Nephrite will hold your hand
at confusing road junctions
Adventurine provides an antidote
to proselytizing parsons
Greyish rock with white flecks
will help you relax after a heavy meal
Turquoise for successfully looking something up on Google
And discovering you were right all along
Nephrite Jade for stiff necks
Iron Pyrite to guard you against shoddy souvenirs
and people talking bollocks


Wastedpapiers said...

Excellent! I think I need one of them thar iron pirates! Aharrrrgh!

Anonymous said...

Well, the gift shop may have been crap. And we were 2 minutes too late to check out the mine, but at least you got a poem out of it!