All We Do at Christmas

All we do at Christmas
Is sit and watch TV
Mum and Dad and Sis and Gran
And Grandpapa and me

My best mate Bill, and all his lot
Play Christmas games and cards
Have quizzes and win prizes
Dress up and play charades

And Jenny’s family go to church
They’re Christians and they Believe
She stays up late and goes to church
At midnight, Christmas Eve

And Ali, who’s a Muslim
And Rachel, who’s a Jew
Still think about what Christmas means
But take a wider view

But we don’t do much thinking
We just sit and watch TV
There’s Mum and Dad and Sis and Gran
And Grandpapa and me

School Staffrooms 3

You have to question
the dedication
of the teaching assistant
in the high-heeled boots,
short skirt,
low-cut blouse
and generous cleavage.

Note to Schools from Powers That Be

“Brainstorm” is no longer to be used.
For brainstorm substitute “thought shower.”
And, no doubt, ideas drizzle,
inclement inklings
and cat and dog notions
leading to a creative downpour.

Short Love Poem

If I were a limerick
And you were a cinquain
Would you rhyme
With my last line
And could we make a couplet?

Oddments 5

In the Woodland Café squirrels chat
Over a nut cutlet
And a cup of bramble tea.
A badger sits on his own
In the corner
Reading the Woodland News.

Oddments 4.

The violence of nature
Isn’t random.
It’s just that it doesn’t provide
Programme notes or advance times.