Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Eastbourne Pier

The pier
That has witnessed
Over the years
So many amazing sights

The sea front barricades
And the bombs
Falling relentlessly on the town
In 1941

The three pound two ounce plaice
That Ian caught
On that particularly low tide
In 1964

The grand wedding
Of Steph and Joe
The sea scattering sunshine
Like a diamond
In 2012

Tuesday, January 22, 2013


I was once given
This brilliant piece of advice
And decided to act upon it

Live each day
As if it were your last

So, I made a will.
And I sorted out my kitchen drawer.

I overdrew on my credit cards
To my limit
And gave all my money
To a children’s charity

I ate four very large
Chocolate and cream cakes
And drank a whole bottle
Of booze

I phoned BT
and told them what I really think
about their service

I sprayed orange paint
On the windscreen of the car
That always takes up two spaces
So that I’ve never room to park

Then I changed all the clocks in the house
To different times
And, feeling pleased with myself,
Settled down for a snooze

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Country Show

A large beetle
Scuttles across the wooden floor

As Stompin’ Tom Connors
Takes to the stage

I’m not expecting
A happy ending

Monday, January 14, 2013

My Very Best Poem

This is my very best poem
Of all of my poems it’s the best
Ask anyone who knows of my work
It’s rock and boulders above the rest

Its rhythm moves slowly – like a river
Not showy, like a quick clever stream
Its metaphor glides
Like a swan on the tide
(Well, not a tide… but you know what I mean.)

Its rhymes are subtle, internal
Using assonance, half-rhyme and stuff
It’s a ripe, stripy apricot, its palate is delicate
But its meaning is Teflon and tough

At first sight this poem is simple
Like a long road that hasn’t a bend
But the story it tells soon begins ringing bells
Of heartbroken lives on the mend

Take Simon and Claire, for example
And their hopeless and doomed love affair
For he fooled around in his lair, underground
And she was a Chippendale chair

And yes, this poem is nonsense
But – and this is the crucial bit –
At its heart there is… um… heart, and at its feet there’s a beat
And, as poems go, well, it is my best

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

No Ordinary Person

And should you see her
Walking up the road
Braced against the cold sea breeze
In her sensible black coat and scarf of pink
And her hat with ear flaps
You might not think that she was special
And she might nod, or smile
And that shaft of sunlight
Striking the shingle, like a jewel
Could be coincidence

And should you meet her in the library
You might not spare a second glance
But you might share an idle conversation
That turns to bookish things
And you might just begin to understand
The well of her well of knowledge

And should you mention, maybe on the bus
Or on Polling day, the plight of the poor,
The disadvantaged, the sick, the greed of the rich
You might be touched by her rage
And passion for justice

And should you see her with her family
You would wish for such a loving person
In your family too

And should you marry her
Why, you would simply think yourself
The luckiest man alive